Skewed Priorities

Anyway, recently I got the urge to give the show a try.  Now I’m a little hooked.  10+ years after the fact.

I picked up the first two seasons on DVD recently and I’ve been picking away at it.  Tonight I watched an episode that demonstrated to me beyond a shadow of a doubt that there is something mis-wired in my pea-brain.  My priorities are what one would call, “fucked.”

Allow me to elaborate.

For those of you who are familiar with the show, it was the episode with the fluke man.  Remember that one?  Half man, half flat worm.  Terrorizing the sewers (and port-a-potties) of New Jersey?

Anyway, there is a scene where our hero is trudging through a sewer to investigate a dead body.  The body is in a nasty state of decay.  Pretty gross.  Later we see our other hero do an autopsy on the corpse.  More gross out.  The body is all rotten and Scully is poking away at it’s innards.  Then we see this really big flat worm poke it’s head out of the corpse’s guts.  Seriously gross.

I was loving it.

Later we see the monster of the week attack an innocent sewer worker.  He goes to the doctor and gets checked out.  There is a sick looking bite on his back, but he otherwise seems okay.  He has a nasty taste in his mouth though and he complains about it to the doctor.

That’s important.

Fast forward a bit and we see our innocent sewer worker at home in the bathroom.  He takes a toothbrush in one hand and a tube of toothpaste in the other.  (remember that bad taste in his mouth?)  He splurts a big glop of toothpaste onto the brush and pops it into his mouth.  Then without rinsing he splurts a second big glop onto the brush and puts it into his mouth.

At that point my stomach turned.

He then, again without rinsing, takes the tube of toothpaste and squeezes about a gallon of it directly into his mouth.

I almost puked.  No lie, I actually retched a little and had to look away.  I literally covered my eyes.

The next shot is the guy in the shower vomitting up a great big worm.  That didn’t bother me at all.

Great big globs of toothpaste in the guys mouth brought me within a heartbeat of hurling my dinner all over the carpet… but the rotten corpse, the autopsy, the worm writing around some guy’s intestine, and the vomiting of a slimy creature had no effect on me.

What the fuck is wrong with my brain?

Gore, and slimey grossness:  Good.
Lots of toothpaste:  Bad.

This will end one of two ways.  Either I’ll end up on a shrink’s couch lobying for that Prozac perscription I’ve always fantasized about, or my Dentist is going to flat out kick my ass.

What do you think?